Personalizing your Wedding Ceremony
By Frankee Love, marriage celebrant
www.blueridgeweddings.com

Many couples come to me and ask how they can have a wedding ceremony that is totally unique and one that truly reflects their feelings for each other.They want wording that is relevant to them as a young couple rather than an ordinary ceremony that is just like all the others. Usually, they also have an interest in satisfying the family members who have a more traditional view of what a wedding should be like. This is exactly the type of challenge I enjoy the most. Here are some examples:

The bride and groom had met each other while rock climbing and continued to enjoy the sport as did most of their friends who were going to attend the wedding. They wanted a wedding ceremony that reflected their interests and friendships. However, their parents, aunts and uncles had a different opinion of the ideal wedding ceremony. They envisioned scripture, romantic prose and some familiar "to have and to hold" language. The couple loves their relatives and wanted them to feel comfortable about the wedding. Therefore I was charged with the task of blending two wedding styles into one seamless harmony. I approached the task by learning a great deal about rock climbing - the terminology, philosophies, and required strengths. I began making analogies between those points and the requirements of a good marriage. There were many comparisons that could be made such as the trust that a rock climber must have in his or her partner. The ceremony flowed in and out of rock climber territory and contained enough familiar "from this day forward" language to satisfy all who attended. The wedding was beautiful. It took place on a mountain edge and in sight of the very mountain range where the couple had grown to love each other.

Another example is the bride and groom that were wildlife photographers and environmentalists. Again, they wanted a ceremony that celebrated their own uniqueness and yet had enough familiar language to satisfy the family. I created a ceremony that was similar to the Rose Ceremony that many have heard but we used wildflowers instead. There were many references to the natural beauty of the surroundings -- including the rain because it was pouring at the time! Afterwards family members and contemporary friends both came up to me and remarked what an inspirational ceremony it was.

If I had to sum up some advice about personalizing wedding ceremonies, I would say that there are a few points that are essential:

• Look for ways that your unique interests relate to a traditional wedding concept
  
• Build bridges into the ceremony to connect the non-traditional to the traditional
  
• Have fun, but don't make your wedding a joke
  
• Keep an open mind, but maintain the dignity of the moment
  
• Remember you are making a public pledge that you will love and trust each other for the rest of your lives. This is important and it should be treated like an important occasion.